4 Airplane Assholes to Avoid Being

I have been flying more and more these days, and the whole experience is still amazing to me. We are able to jettison a huge hunk of metal in the air and then safely drop it from the sky exactly where we want. You get such a great view from up there and the only thing that can ruin it for me are the people I’m sharing that great experience with.


Entitled boarding groupies

When it comes to boarding by your group most people seem to think this is more of a suggestion than a requirement. Somehow “group 3” seems to be three times the size of group 4 and 5 combined.

Why does this make you an asshole? It’s just pointless. You know where your seat is, that’s not going to change. You also are going to be sitting in that tinny seat for the next hour to ten hours, you’ll still get plenty of quality time there regardless if you jump the line or not.

Airplane Assoles


The look-how-light-I-pack experienced traveler

I get it, you can pack all your stuff in to a small rolling bag and a backpack. Good for you. You avoided getting charged for checked bags and you won’t have to wait at baggage claim.

Why does this make you an asshole? It’s not so long as you plane-side check that roller bag or understand that only ONE bag goes in the overhead compartment. The other needs to go under the seat in front of you. No, I don’t care if you’re 8 foot tall and putting your bag under your seat means less leg room. That’s the trade off you have for not checking a bag.

The look-how-light-I-pack experienced traveler


The human geyser

I love a view of the world just as much as the next person so I get why someone would want to sit there. My problem comes when the person sitting there has a chiuaua sized bladder and can’t stop drinking fluids the whole flight.

Why does this make you an asshole? Everyone is disturbed by your bathroom trips in 30 min intervals. The person next to you trying to read, the seats in front of you that you feel compelled to grab and shake for balance, and every person you bump on your way to the porta-potty all wish you would just get a cathider.

The human geyser


Loudmouth socialites

The plane is a great place to make a new friend for solo travelers. You can chat a bit about where you’re going and what you’re doing. It has lead to some great impromptu networking for me, so how could it go wrong?

Why does this make you an asshole? Sometimes the person next to you doesn’t want to talk. They might want to read, sleep, or just enjoy the flight. The people around you may also just want you to shut up if you feel the need to shout over the jet engines.

Loudmouth socialites


Now that was all a bit negative, so let me go through a few people who are traditionally ragged on who shouldn’t be.

Overweight people They get tons of flack for stealing seat space, but let’s be honest. Those seats are small. Any truly overweight person is on a cruise ship or traveling by car to their destination.

Parents & babies They can’t really help it. I know plenty of people think that parents with babies are always going on vacation and so they should just, “stay home.” Next time you think that, go over and ask the parents if they would rather have traveled or not. I bet you I know what the answer will be 9 times out of 10. It’s a global world and people have to get from A to B quickly for work, family emergencies, and sometimes medical care. So yes, the baby might be screaming, but usually the parents do their best to minimize any disruption.