Florida is known around the US for providing the country with strange and disgusting news stories. From people being swallowed by gators, to junkies accidentally burning down landmarks, Florida knows how to capture headlines with class. After spending a bit more time down south I might be starting to understand why.
You Can Buy Alcohol ANYWHERE
In New York we don’t tend to have beer and liquor sold in the same store. This is because wine and liquor can only be sold in designated liquor stores, where as beer can be sold in grocery stores. I am actually pretty jealous of Flordia on this one if I’m being honest because when I say anywhere, I do in fact mean anywhere.
Target, Walmart, and yes, the Dollar Store all have a section for wine and beer. The selection isn’t as varied as what I see in our NY liquor stores, but oh the convenience!
You Can Buy Single-Serve Boxed Wine
I love good wine, but I appreciate the bad, cheap wine for it’s convenience. With that in mind how can I not marvel at single-serve boxed wine? I suppose 3 glasses of wine might be a bit more than “a single serving,” but even still I’m amazed.
As I stared at the box, the only person I could think of buying this were the homeless. Thank goodness the box suggested some alternative reasons you might need a small box of strong & cheap wine! To quote the box directly:
“Our Pinot Grigio is light-bodied with hints of citrus fruits and notes of ripe apple. Pinot Grigio will pair perfectly with light pasta dishes and fresh green salads. It’s a great wine to take on a camping trip or a weekend getaway.”
When translated from Marketing Speak means roughly: “This is a wine. We didn’t use the best, but we might not have used the worst ingredients. This will go well with your can of cold spaghetti O’s, beef ravioli, or a head of iceberg lettuce. This package is extremely mobile and discrete so you can drink anywhere you want, you lush.”
You Can Get More Than Just Food Delivered
I, like many lazy people, love GrubHub. Pretty much everywhere I go I check to see what my delivery options are. It’s some sick obsession. I can’t help it. Imagine my surprise when I realized I could get not only hot food, but groceries delivered to my door in Florida! Beaches, lax alcohol polices, and grocery delivery via GrubHub? No wonder why people move here.
As I browsed the grocery list dreaming of all the wonderful orders I could place for over-priced TP and toothpaste I found the most hilarious offering by far, condoms. Condoms in and of themselves wouldn’t be that weird to see on this list, but they were the only item that had multiple options. Can’t be picky when ordering generic shaving razors, but don’t be afraid to scrutinize your condom order!
In all seriousness, Florida is pretty great. They get picked on a lot, but there is a reason so many people choose to live here. I’d be a liar if I said our fresh water beaches in New York were comparable to the National shoreline, and whats more, you can bring your single-serving of boxed wine!