Ilvermorny, the American Version of Hogwarts

J.K. Rowling is incredibly good at keeping the billions of people who read her books interested in them by releasing unrelated and unimportant tidbits that the books overlooked. I was marginally interested in the Dumbledore’s Gay announcement, but by the time Rowling declared Harry Should Have Married Hermione I was less than interested in her side commentary. The news of an American Wizarding School was interesting, but it wasn’t until today that J.K. Rowling revealed the name to be Ilvermorny.

It’s pronounced ill-ver-morn-ie, but I can’t help but call it Liver Money. I’m not really sure which is better to be honest. Ilvermorny sounds incredibly gloomy. Illness and morning? Did the black plague stop by the northeastern United States when this place was founded? I would have expected the American Hogwarts to have some Native American roots or just renamed something from Europe. If Rowling hadn’t noticed thats what 99% of the names of towns, cities, counties, and land masses are named after.

ilvermorny harry potter map sarah kohl nerdy blogs

This is it. Ilvermorny. Hope you didn’t wait 6 months with baited breath for this.

With a name that dumb, how could J.K. Rowling stop there? No, she came up with a whole list of schools around the world with shitty names. Mahoutokoro in Iwo Jima, Uagadou in “Africa” (no mention of where on the large continent,) and Castelobruxo in Brazil are among the 11 currently listed schools. If nothing else, Americans can take solace in knowing that they aren’t the only fans with a shitty wizarding school name. Of course, the exact fictional location of Ilvermorny hasn’t been listed, but it’s mapped out somewhere in the northeast. That should be a no brainer though.

I get it. People want the magic of the books to live on. They were exciting and enjoyable, but at some point you have to let go and move on. There are so many other great books to enjoy I just don’t see the point of this endless rambling about how the fictional world should have been. That being said, of course I’ll still be seeing Magical Beasts and Where to Find Them and whatever other Harry Potter movie or book garbage comes out.

The real important news of the day from Rowling though, is that you can now take the sorting hat test on pottermore again. For those who were worried, it was removed from the site for a time, but it’s now back up! (And yes, I may or may not have forced a whole office to take this test. I’m pretty sure that’s good management skillz at work.)

4 Comments

  1. Do you know where it is supposed to be located? It kind of looks like central NY which would not only be cool but historically appropriate.

  2. I’m glad other potter fans are pissed about this.

  3. Sac Longchamp Hobo

    February 14, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    At this moment, I’m going to eat my breakfast and read other news.

  4. You need to blog more so this post trails off the first page. It upsets me every time I see it.

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